Relationships: Dating

Dating: Where two people of opposite sex, who are attracted to each other, get together with the focus on getting to know one another to build a solid relationship without involvement of physical/romantic intimacy.

This is what we should all be aiming for. We all long for a dating relationship with someone and so we should, we were created that way! but on our quest for this mysterious, exciting and awkward thing we can get a little bit lost in our feelings and emotions. So lets clear things up a little to make sure we know what direction we are going.

Before starting the quest:
When starting out on this quest it is important to start by asking the right question. The question is not, how far can I go? or How much can I date? the question needs to be flipped it should be, How can I honour God the most when pursuing dating relationships? We must keep this question in our mind and remember that honouring God is more important then dating and when we keep this question at the fore front of our thinking it will automatically answer the other questions we have.

When I use the term honouring God I want to make it clear that this doesn't mean becoming all Super-Spiritual and praying and fasting for that perfect partner and hope that they ring your door bell because there car has just broken down outside your house and its raining so you have to invite them in and you share a hot drink in front of a roaring fire!....I believe (and feel free to disagree) that God doesn't have one perfect person for everyone and I don't see any evidence for God planning perfect partners in the Bible, in fact it is the opposite read 1 Samuel 25, David meets a girl who helps him out and looks hot so David decided to make her his wife, Lad. I believe we have a choice in the matter, I believe God gave us the skills to look for our partners and choose for ourselves all God wants from us is that when we have found this person we do the relationship his way! not our own way

Keep on the quest's track:
A verse that helps me make sure that I am doing it God's way not my own is 1 Corinthians 6:12 "Everything is permissible - but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible - but I will not be mastered by anything.
This verse is extremely helpful in keeping on the right track because it helps us ask the right questions. Instead of looking at relationships and saying that they are wrong this verse us ask is this relationship beneficial, for me?, for the person I am dating? and for the kingdom of God? if the answer is No to anyone one of these questions then surely whats the point in continuing in that dating relationship! And you can know whether it is beneficial by asking yourself yet more questions: Does it help me in my faith? Does it make me feel secure in who I am? Does it help advance the kingdom of God? (Might sound like a deep question but what is the point of doing something if it doesn't extend God's kingdom) Is this person the type of person I have dreamed of? Does it help me strengthen relationships with friends and family? Does it mold my character in a positive way?

It is important that during a dating relationship we regularly ask ourselves these questions and also that we are honest about the answers. I also strongly recommend listening to people who you respect in the faith, ask them the questions you have asked yourself and listen to their advice.

The destination of the quest:
Before we get into a dating relationship I believe it is important that we are willing and have the intention of completing the quest not just running around on path for some fun or taking certain parts of journey because they seem the most exciting, there needs to be some level of commitment that says I am ready to complete this quest. I am aware that sometimes the dating relationship just wont work out and that is absolutely fine or maybe you thought you were ready but it turns out you still have some stuff to deal with, I just think there is a danger in the idea that we can enter a dating relationship with no intention of moving forward. The danger comes because isn't it just a massive waste of time to date someone without destination or purpose? aren't we then just doing it to fulfill our own selfish desires? Aren't we just putting ourselves in temptations way? The world is to broken for us to waste time in pointless relationships, i think Paul says it best:

1 Corinthians 7:29-31
"What I mean brothers, is that the time is to short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none; those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who use the things of this world, as if they were not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away"

Relationships: Friendship

The Bible gives us several characteristics of friendship. It gives us some great advice and guidance to ensure that we build the best friendships we possibly can. Check out these dynamite verses:

Proverbs 17:17 - A friend loves at all times
Proverbs 18:24- There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother
Proverbs 27:6 - Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. Proverbs 27:10 - Do not forsake your friend.

These verses are powerful stuff and illustrate God's heart for friendships. God wants to bless all friendships and encourages us to build up strong friendships which are based on honesty, commitment and affection. The word friend literally means "someone who you like who likes you" if you have someone like this in your life then it is a good thing! treasure your friendships put work into it, make them feel appreciate and be honest with them even if it hurts sometimes like proverbs 27 says it is better to have a friend who is willing to actually be honest with you then a whole bunch of enemies that just boost your ego.

I pray that I would listen to my friends when they offer me honest advice, may I have the humility to accept their rebuke and I pray that I would also have the boldness to be a true friend to show them grace in all situations yet speak truth into their lives. Grant me this Lord.

Push the Limits

What have you done that requires faith recently?

When was the last time you saw something impossible be made possible?

When was the last time you pushed the limits?

These are the questions that I regularly ask myself! I want to continually grow throughout the whole of my life. I never want to stop. Some people see this as a mentality of ambitious or proud people, but I always think to myself whats the point of stopping, why stop learning when there is a world of information, why stop the challenge because we can do more then we think, why stop discovering, have we experienced everything?, why stop working the harvest is plentiful, why stop growing in our relationship with God because he is endlessly mysterious and why stop loving people when this world is so full of hate!

2 Timothy 4:2-5

I give you this charge: Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage - with great patience and careful instruction for the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead , to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears long to hear they will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.

Poem

When the Church of Jesus - Fred Pratt Green

When the Church of Jesus

Shuts its outer door,

Lest the roar of traffic

Drown the voice of prayer:

May our prayers, Lord, make us

Ten times more aware

That the world we banish

Is our Christian care.

If our hearts are lifted

Where devotion soars

High above this hungry

Suffering world of ours:

Lest our hymns should drug us

To forget its needs,

Forge our Christian worship

Into Christian deeds.

Lest the gifts we offer,

Money, talents, time,

Serve to salve our conscience

To our secret shame:

Lord, reprove, inspire us

By the way you give;

Teach us, dying Saviour,

How true Christians live.

Liam, from the view of EmzyK123@hotmail.co.uk

There once was a boy i know,
who's goal was to steal the show,
I asked him politely and he answered nicely,
Emily, jesus is my bro.

This statement I heard, which i first thought abserd, turned out to be entirely true.
But Liam said he, i have called you to be, the boy that does not drink of the brew

Good bye young liam, who always sings
the no drinker of brew, but yet he always brings,
the boy with all the love and so things
The master, the lord of all the rings.

Rocknations FAQ's

Hello Parents

I thought it would be a great idea to write out a few frequently asked questions about Rocknations and the organising of the event.

What is Rocknations?

Rocknations is a Christian Youth Festival where 1500-2000 young people gather together at the Abundant Life Campus and will hear great preachers, have some great worship and get involved in loads of crazy (but safe) games.

What is a typical day at Rocknations like?

This is what a typical day at Rocknations looks like, however I would like to add that on one of the days this year we are going to take the whole of Kerith Youth Bowling at a local bowling facility which is walking distance from the Campus.

9.30 - 11.15am : First morning celebration
11.15 - 11.30am : Break
11.30 - 12.30am : Second morning celebration
12.30 - 1.30pm : Lunch
12.30pm : Activities open
1.30 - 2.30pm : Leadership seminar
3.00 - 4.30pm : Workshops
4.00 - 7.00pm : Hot Food
5.00pm : Activities close
6.15 - 7.00pm : Pre-meeting entertainment
7.00 - 9.30pm : Evening celebration

How much free time will the young people get and where will they be allowed to go during that time?

Our dinner at the hotel is at 5:30pm everyday, therefore all Kerith young people will be back at the hotel at this point. The workshops are optional so the young people may potentially have from 3-5:30pm as free time. During these time Rocknations puts on many actvities including games zones, girls and boys lounges, football competitions, rock climbing walls and many more. If the young people don't want to participate in them they can also use the starbucks facilities or chill out on the Abundant Life field inside the campus. Over 16's are allowed to town during free time as long as they are in a group and that their team leader is aware.

Is Bradford safe for the young people?

The outstanding facility of the ALC campus is home to Rocknations. There is 24 hour security on campus throughout the conference, as well as specific security throughout the meetings. All shuttle buses to and from the hotels have a "Bus Buddy" on board to ensure security. All activities at RN have been through strict health and safety checks and there is a trained first aid team on hand if needed. The staff and security are clearly identifiable.

Food?

We will start the day with breakfast at our hotel which will be a wide range of choice from a classic english fry up to fruit and crossiants. The hotel also make us a packed lunch everyday which consists of simple sandwiches, fruit, crisps, chocolate bar and a drink. In the evening we come back to the hotel for food which again is a wide range of food but there are always three choices available at every meal time including a vegetarian option.

Leaders?

We are planning to take 16 leaders with us to Rocknations, we will give the names of the leaders once they have all confirmed but the leaders that we are asking for have all been CRB'ed and also have served in some area in the youth for over 6 months.

If you have any questions or queries then please do not hesistate in contacting either myself or lorraine. liam.parker@kerith.co.uk; lorraine.wade@kerith.co.uk

People listen to lies

While I was in the shower enjoying the warmth of the water and doing that fun thing where you put your fingers in your ears and close eyes and then let the water run on the top of your head because in sounds all echo-ey and cool, God spoke to me.

Throughout the day I had been having conversations that all seemed to be negative and hurtful. What was worse about these conversations was that at the time the things that were said don't seem like a big deal but I know from experience that sometimes you need to take certain words captive to guard your heart - Because form your heart flows the springs of life (Pro 4:23)

The words in these conversations revealed the true nature of what the person I was speaking with was really feeling I know this- Because the mouth speaks what the heart is full of (Luke 6:45). The phrases and words that these people were using showed that the heart was screaming things like: "I am not good enough", " I am not attractive enough", "I have no place here", " Who am I", "I'm broken", "I'm lost, "Does anyone love me". These lies come from all over and we are pretty much fighting against them all day. Lies come others, the world, the devil and most commonly ourselves.

These revelations into the human heart upset me and I decided to take the query and upset back to Jesus to see what he had to say about the matter. Of course Jesus having the sense of humour that he does doesn't tell me in my personal devotion time or whilst I am reading the Bible and he doesn't even tell me while I am chatting to men and women who are further along their spiritual journey then me, no! He tells me while I am having a shower. Very funny Jesus! we get it your omnipresent. Whilst Jesus was showing off he decided to tell/remind me that... "People listen to lies!"... after hearing those words I totally understood everything about those conversations. We listen to lies! lies about ourselves, lies about who we are, lies about promises made to us and lies about God and his character.

I then figured out that lies are constantly going to be around us and there isn't much we can do about that but we can, as Proverbs nicely puts it, guard our hearts! every time we have a lie pop into our head that says "were not good enough" or "God isn't strong enough" we need to say no to that lie in Jesus name before it sinks down into our heart. This discipline is important. If we fail to do it then as Luke says our words will speak what is in our heart.

If we allow lies to sink into our heart then lies will come out of our mouth.